I bend over backwards to help my brother. He wants to be so freakin’ independent, but then when he needs something he comes crawling to you and just expects things. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love helping people, especially my own family, but he’s just not seeming grateful of what others do for him. My mom suffers the most because of this, but now that he’s in Martin with me, it’s placed more on me lately. His loan didn’t come in and won’t be here till my birthday in about 4 weeks (sucksss for him). He does have a job at Wendy’s, but his truck broke down so he won’t have money to fix it for a while. Not to mention, he owes me about $400! That’s because of school books, parking permit, replacement school ID, and school supplies he couldn’t afford. That came out of MY loan money. I have a feeling I won’t see any of this money for a while… I give him an inch, and he takes the whole thing. He complains about having to walk around campus or to work without a bike. Boo freakin’ hoo. I walk around campus just like everyone else (minus the people on the bikes lol), and thank God his work is right across the street from his dorm pretty much.
He said he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to keep in line or “behave” without seeing his girlfriend.. It’s been a little over 2 weeks. The answer is: don’t date a 15 yr old when you’re in college, especially when all you’ve been looking forward to out of your college experience was hot chicks, parties, and beer. Don’t get me wrong, they are cute together (or at least they used to be years ago), but things have changed. They are not right for each other. At least for now. It’s pretty much obvious to everyone, sadly enough.
Anyway, I’m just using this as an outlet. I love my brother, but he irks me more than anyone. It’s always been that way, and it’ll probably always be that way…
I am starting to become addicted to Tumblr.. It’s a healthy addiction, right? lol. So much better than that farmville-infested Facebook or ancient MySpace :P Shall I dare say it’s as if MySpace and Facebook had a baby? haha. Anyway, I love it here because you can express yourself as well as join in other people’s expressions and creativity. I’ve been using it lately for sappy, random quotes and pics, but eh, that’s what I love :) There are some pretty awesome people on here, and I hope I find some more people to follow (not in a stalker way of course lol). Well, I’m done here for now. Homework time! Yay college…
that I could make you instantly happy when you feel at your lowest. It sucks that I don’t have that amazing power. Please don’t be sad because when you’re sad it tears me apart, makes me feel helpless… I reach out to you, but you just shrug your shoulders and push me away. You say you can’t help it, buy you’re wrong. You might feel that way, but there is always a way out, even if you can’t see it. God loves you so much and so do I. I wish you could experience God’s amazing love, peace, and joy for yourself. It’s truly unlike anything! In the meantime, I can only hug, pray for, and just be here for you if you decide to let me in. Idk what else I can do…
I’m only taking 14 hours, but this includes the dreadful 318 class (AGAIN!!). I was put in a group with some pretty cool people, and I was excited because they actually seemed devoted to passing this class (unlike some people last semester). I was excited because they were wanting to go to SEPA and present our research project, which is in New Orleans next semester. They told me today though that they want to work alone so they’re dropping me out of the group. Then I had to be with my old roommate that never really talked to me, but now she dropped the class. I’m pretty much screwed because I didn’t see the other girl that got pushed out of the group, so this semester is freakin’ sucking already. In addition to this crazy class, I have 2 jobs! I’m so crunched with time.. I hope I survive :/
I’m right here! You walk right past me like I’m nothing. I know you’re down, but dang, can’t you just let me in? Tell me what you’re feeling, what’s on your mind. I really care, probably care too much. I really do love you and try to encourage you, but do you even see?
Okay, I’ve never really given Trivium much of a try until recently. Dust’n listens to them all the time, and they’re not bad. Not my favorite band either though. Just got their newest CD, and I love this song on it :) It reminds me of another song though, but I can’t quite figure out what it is yet.
I wish you would let me… I don’t know how to help you. I am a helper, a listener, an encourager. At least, that’s what I feel I’m best at. The only thing I can do at times is stand here and pretend that everything will just work itself out because I am powerless. The only thing I can do is pray.. even that makes me sad because I want to help you. I want to be the one that makes you instantly smile, suddenly become undoubtingly happy once again… not to gain any credit whatsoever, but that’s what would make me happy… to be the one to make that amazing smile of your’s come to life.
When you’re down, I’m down… when you’re hurting, I’m hurting… when you feel alone, I want to be your companion… when you feel helpless, I want to reach out my hand to you and tell you that you have nothing to worry about because I’m standing right here with you through everything… Am I really not that good enough for you? Do you think I’m not understanding? If you honestly think this, then you are mistaken. I don’t think you’re perfect. Trust me, I’m WAY far from perfect myself. I am forgiving. I am loving. I am on your side cheering you on, thinking of you, praying for you, smiling with and at you.. although you might not always see me. I’m here always. Always and forever. I promise.